Transcendental Meditation

I have been practising TM for several weeks now, 20 minutes of meditation in the morning and 20 in the evening. I have noticed a huge difference in my mood. It is as though my emotions do not waver as much as they did, I feel calmer and more towards the direction of happiness. Whereas before I would often feel lost and probably more toward unhappiness. It is something I do not control, it just happens. Immediately following meditation I feel more bright and whole. As the weeks have gone by I feel lighter as I meditate, and although I still have thoughts whilst doing it, they seem less intense, less intrusive. I have not lost my temper once since I began, and have become more patient with others and myself.

I became interested in TM as I have been on a quest for knowledge for a few years now, moving from one book/idea to another. It occurred to me recently that with each new bit of knowledge, I drop something I thought intrinsic to my life from the last bit of knowledge I learned, and then add something new to my knowledge. What is this 'knowledge' then, I thought to myself. It appears to be so true to me at the time, I get so excited about it and want to teach others about it. Yet it is then discarded when I learn something new. This is a pattern that I could see continuing forever and ever, so am I really learning?

Maybe the only way to true knowledge is through feeling, through deep within oneself. This can happen through meditation. When I meditate, I become a better person because I feel more whole. So I must become a better teacher for actions speak more than words. Learning from books is fun, it is interesting. But none of it is 'truth'. We will never find the meaning of life through a book, lecture or another person. How can it be truth, when truth is so different to each person, each gender, each age group, each culture etc.

Feelings however, cannot be put into words completely. It is another language altogether. When I watch people like Terence McKenna, Jung or Gurdijeff on youtube, talking about something they passionately believe in, I have noticed that these wonderfully clever, open minded people at some point end up berating somebody else's point of view. Why?  The only truth a person can really believe in, is that which they have felt themselves, deep within. I wonder if real truth is entirely wordless, something that can never be translated into words effectively, or explained.
When we read words and ideas, they must go into the ego/memory side of the brain. They are then tainted by our habits, judged by our past experience and affected by our present experience. We all keep the ideas that are convenient to us at the time, and then drop the rest.
However, the part of us which is connected to something greater, whatever that is, is kept free from this judgement because it is whole. It is a never-ending space where inspiration can come through directly to oneself. Where one can feel, freely, in immense space and light. When you are there, nothing you think matters actually matters.

As we meditate more, maybe we begin to learn a new language. The language we were made with. Our minds rely less and less on words. Telepathy and psychic abilities perhaps rely on this forgotten language. Maybe each time we meditate, we learn a little more of this forgotten language, until eventually it becomes your primary language, unexplainable to anybody else through word. It is simply understood by the real you.
Words are like a game, they can be played and spun and manipulated, tossed and sung and wept. Real feelings cannot. Meditation truly helps to find these 'real' feelings and keep them with you in your daily life. From a place where the word 'feeling' means much more what the word could ever suggest.

Raw eggs Dream

I dreamed of going out to my chicken shed and finding 2 little girls there. They were both crouched upon the dirty hay on the stone floor. One of the girls, of Indian appearance, looked familiar to me. I saw eggshells on the floor and as I looked at her I saw her opening her mouth, cracking the egg in one hand above her mouth and the raw egg pouring down her throat. I was a bit concerned and said to her, " You shouldn't eat raw egg like that, you can get sick". She shook her head and was so engrossed in the deliciousness of the eggs that she carried on.
The other girl I did not take notice of.

A week later I dreamed I was by a pool outdoors. It seemed to be a natural river pool of some sort. It was dark and I imagined that the water would be cold, it was very still. There was a young boy standing next to me of Indian appearance. He took an egg and cracked it with one hand, the raw egg pouring down his throat. He did this twice. I noticed a man in the pool. He was also of Indian origin. He came to the edge and spoke with the child. He said to now take the shell, and place it under his tongue to make the magic work. My telephone then dropped from my hands and fell into the water. I saw it begin to sink into the cold dark green water, and thought oops that would be unfixable. The man dived underneath to rescue it for me. He brought it out and handed it to me and I said "I have to go now and put it into a bag of rice"